Male Empowerment

This is an old piece I thought I had lost. As a matter of fact, I had just remembered i wrote the damn thing a few days back.  Have been attempting to recall the piece from memory since then.  Anyway, I checked my email this evening and find a notification from an old poetry forum I used to visit.  Someone had dug up the poem to comment on it.  Completely forgot I left it there.  Funny how that stuff works.  non-serious piece.  For giggles.

Jiggly parts, cold beer
Makes me shed
A manly tear

Hairy chest, shoulder locks
When I'm angry
I throw rocks

I am man, watch me loaf
Or if you're female
Enjoy my gropes

Granite chin, fists of steel
With a punch so hard
Your mom will feel

Cause I am man, watch me loaf
And despite its size
I always boast

I am man, watch me eat
And shed crumbs over
Your pleather seats

I am man, I don't care
I've dried my face
With underwear

We are men, being men rocks
And not one of us haven't
Jerked into a sock

Lord Bless My Haters

No one has it easy.  Before you judge someone else, consider what they may have dealt with in their past and may still deal with today.  Most importantly, pray for the haters.  They know not what they do.

Lord bless my haters
They know not what they do
Not a single one would last
A day in my shoes

Lord bless my haters
As they assume and persecute
Cause in the end they're jealous
They can't do like I do

They can talk, they can stare
They can peek through the aisles
My swag and my flare
They wish they had my style

When they walk the road I've walked
They can talk the way I talk
But I've yet to find a reason
That justifies their gawks

Lord bless my haters
As I look them in the eye
I've shown them more mercy
Than they have realized

The Brewer?

Bored with nothing to do, entertaining the friends.  An alteration of an old rhyme.  I did it for the giggles, don't judge.

Gulp, glug, glug
Three dudes in a tub
Who the fuck these guys be?

The brewer, the baker
The candlestick maker
Kings among men, studly lunks all three

Craig, Jason, Zach
To be more specific
All masters of their trade

A three man brigade
Many dragons they've slain
In their countless drunken crusades

My Name Is Zach

There has been a pic floating around on Facebook lately, of a meth user.  It displays the effects of meth on thie user over a four year period.  Its pretty drastic.  More so, there is a poem that accompanies the picture, which personifies meth and its effects on the user.  Its pretty decent, though thoroughly depressing.  I decided to write a retort to this poem, as I have struggled with the effects of meth addiction within my family.  The thing about meth addiction is that no matter how bad the users end up, those that love them get it worse.  The transition meth users go through is nothing short of terrifying to witness.


My name is Zach
And you know who I am
I was the kid
Whom you could not land

Your highs and seduction
Meant nothing to me
I am not your fool
There is nothing free

As I watched all around me
My family went down
And I stood resolutely
Holding my ground

I watched as you started
With my sister Kelly
And then proceeded to take
Everything from me

I watched as it spread
From my sisters to brothers
It seemed every day
You took another

My dad and role-models
All swept away
My nieces and nephews
Lost in the fray

My home was destroyed
That life brought to a close
There was nothing to say
"And so it goes"

So I stood with conviction
Over my dead family
And I took back
What meant most to me

I salvaged the wreckage
Saving what was good
Protecting our youngest
The best I could

I cut the dead branches
I pruned the diseased
I did what was needed
With no choice but to lead

And for all of the effort
You spent ripping apart
Our spirit took shelter
Inside my heart

I won this game
One of the few who can say
I warded off everything
You could throw my way

My name is Zach
And I'm most fuckin' blessed
I'll save you the embarrassment
'Cause you know the rest

Light Speed

If only photons had mass.

Skyquakes, HAARP, Social Unrest, Nibiru

A poem I wrote for a particular forum user base, its meant in jest.  They loved it:

GLP is a board populated by crazies
Who'd be better off pushing up daisies
Evidence? Just look over all the insane posts
Not an inch closer to truth, do they even come close

Parsing over details: imagined, not real
Disconnected from reality: no sense or feel
Not one first hand witness to recount what happened
Just a bag full of nuts with nothing to fasten

Nibiru? Skyquakes? HAARP? Fake
Now hold your tongue, its best to abate
But a piece of the cake, they definitely take
When it comes to imagination; fertile and great

So I love them, I feel that I'm with my own
With like minded fools, I've made it my home
I'd happily spend my days: parsing, postulating
Over imagined scenarios, through arguments degrading

But I digress, I just had to get it off my chest
That GLP fuckers refuse - to let dead horses rest

Gossip

A very short piece, it speaks for itself:

My ear to the door I heard quite a noise and
Opened it up to release all the poison
From wounded emotion they ran worn and scared
Failing to notice I squared the playing field fair

Yet I'm lead to believe I'm acting in fault
For fixing the problem, disinfecting with salt
I learned long ago to refuse such a notion
That fair is a tyranny of wounded emotion

The Game

I took a dive into the deep end one day:

Just know, there will come a time

What you've built will fall

This is the natural order

This is the sacred call

Don't let it get to you

The frustration is not worth it

Its more of a realization

That the system is imperfect

Its a divine test from God

Its the system, its the plan

Its a gauntlet for weak souls

Its a worthy test for man

It should come as no surprise

That when you see me walking through

You know shit has hit the fan

You know what I will do

Our problem is not each other

Its the media, the "man"

The intangible force that has ripped us from our lands

Its the mystified bullshit, feed to you by hand

The unquestioned indoctrination, a test of your own plan

Its actually not that hard

A lost intelligence really

Of being a good person

And treating each other equally

The drive to build a system

To accommodate us all

Worthy of God's attention

But only after the fall

This stated, is the game

And I just told it to you

Lets put aside our differences

I promise not to fool you

Walk with me as equals

In the sense we all have roles

Know what you do best

Quit stepping on my toes

Know we help each other

We could not survive alone

Together we shall conquer

Ideas, concepts unknown

Stuttering

One of the first pieces I'd ever written:

Why are you trying to talk to me?

It should be rather plain to see

I am not the most verbally

Neither, or nor socially

Adept at providing your company

So why then do you still persist?

Your pursuance only stems resist

It shall be known I won't desist

Keep talking fool you'll catch my fist

So why then do you talk to me?

Do I really look that lonely?

Do you think my heart holds vacancy?

For a person a such, I can hardly touch

At the pain and strife you cause me

So leave me to my misery

As I tend to it most silently

Remember the contempt I hold for thee

Don't waste your time worrying for me

Just leave me on my way.

My Awesome Rhyming List

Here is another piece I put together a couple years back. It doesn't really have a purpose/meaning. I was bored at the time and had some fresh to burn. Its meant to be humorous in its absurdity.

After breaking some boards with my masculine fists

I'm going to take a sit down, and write a big list

Consisting of things I've done or will do

That are epic and awesome, thus marginalizing you

Like racing a horse, of course on foot

Or wrestling a bear, which I'll suplex through some stairs

I'll play my trombone atop the highest mountain peak

And eat a hundred hot dogs, just to prove you are weak

After taming a wolf with a bat and raw steak

I'm will unleash him on you, specifically your face

Then I might get around to composing a symphony

The most discordant one evar, I'll live forever in infamy

I will conquer your country and enslave your peoples

To do my own bidding; manual labor and building steeples

Cause a nation is not yours unless religiously converted

Mind chained and blindfolded, thus easily herded

So I should probably get around to ending this poem

I'm a rhyme runner, fools, dorky lyrics I love sewing

And I think I've covered enough to make you feel like shit

So I hope you've enjoyed reading my awesome rhyming list

Carrot Cake

A set of rhymes I want to share.  I wrote this a couple years ago when I was working as an assistant to the pastry chef at a local upscale restaurant. This came to me after observing my superior become agitated when her carrot cake was taken off a catering menu and replaced with a Sara Lee cake due to cost factoring. This rhyme is meant to be expressed from her perspective. But yeah, its more or less the product of boredom, haha.

My recipes are superior

To your inferior technique

Delicious, round, and moist

Directly mirroring an inner voice

Of culinary genius

Pure delicatessen delight

I've worked this shit for years

Not a hobby, its my life

Of proportions gastronomical

Delicious for your face

I can even beat you at

This farce-ass daytime race

To produce the most food

Within a set amount of time

Making cold hard cash

Whilst spitting cheesy rhymes

So fuck off with your words

And your preconceived conceptions

Watch me act redundant

With intention of ingraining lessons

Your cake is fucking shitty

Dry, stale, and old

You best get back to school

Best do what you are told

While I shell out delicious cakes

Not a hobby its my life

Remember these words I've spoke

Ingrained through trials and strife

By the way, Sara Lee had nothing on her cakes.

We Were Dorks

I figure I'd share one of the only serious rhymes I've ever written. Its a little older than some of the others I've done, started and finished on May 12th, 2009. Despite the context, the piece is meant to be taken in a lighthearted manner. Nothing was ever taboo or too serious in my circle.

It sucks when you lose a really good friend

Someone who stuck out the thick and the thin

A person who taught you to reach from within

And garnished a respect not many can win

Side by side, we blasted on fools and fool-kin

Intellectually dissecting their ill-bred opinions

Murdering the status quo together as friends

Staving off sheeple riding media imposed whims

Throughout hazy afternoons and countless nights

We discovered our right to think and explore

A mental landscape not many know of

Of sociological shenanigans, we pulled out the rug

We dismantled many fools; methodically, unapologetically

Destroying fraudulent convictions; utterly and totally

We made many examples, these insights we did steal

You could call it real-life trolling, we called it being real

But yesterday, my friend took one to the chest

Twenty-six years lived fully, his soul laid to rest

His heart bailed out tolling a massive physical debt

The memories he left we will nevar forget

So instead we'll focus on what he left positive

His hobbies, his influence, his black and blue dominance

He might even use a character named Ness

Putting it lightly, you'd be left in a mess

He was most advanced at games of all sorts

CCGs, FPSs; ya know, soul food for dorks

We spent countless hours polishing our skills

Perfect Dark, Smash Bros; racking up kills

He'd even own you at paper RPGs

Assamite, Malkavian; you'd be brought to your knees

He took an approach quite light-heartedly

Which might leave you thinking, "now seriously ..."

Which compounded the fact; he was owning your face

Whilst smiling, laughing, and maintaining his grace

His game was complex, evolved, and hedged

He personified the expression, "never let them see you sweat"

So we can leave it at this, he was not to be pitied

His angle was genius, you'd have to be privy

To fully understand, this man was no bitch

If shit hit the fan, you'd be left in a ditch

I'll say one more thing, there is positive in his passing

Having thought very deeply, I plan to be long lasting

But now, I am no longer fearful of death

For sitting on the other side, when my ticket's pulled late

A guy most profound, whom I can definitely relate

Confession

A little piece that came to me as I was drifting asleep, I made an effort to catch it before it flew right over me.

Hey you! You! Listen up!

I got something to fess

I raise my freak flag high

Way into the clouds

Breaching clear atop the sky

(I'm the reason they made contact)

Kinda like;

Not until this moment

Have I actually realized

Why I really like the smell

Of corned beef and rye

(And sauerkraut)

Or;

When I was a kid

I was infatuated by it

Shamed and embarrassed

Closing firmly on the lid

(Only made it worse, now its pickled)

Coming to terms;

Its one of those things

That I really can't control

I am who I am

No matter the price or toll

(There are worse things)

I'm beyond caring anymore;

Amused with myself

Perverted and droll

In a class of closet freaks

My name is definitely on the roll

(Zachary? Zachary? "... Present")

Be nice;

So do not point your blame

Cause I'm done feeling ashamed

You'd never tell that kid named Rudy

That he can't make Notre Dame

(Same difference, trust me)

Just know;

I'm as burnt as they come

As a steak I'd be well done

But you couldn't find another

Who would make it so much fun

(The end)

Everything Will Be Okay

Bored on the forum, an attempt to quell anxious minds:

If the snails are breeding
And the birds are making nests
Fear not my dearest kin
As the robin securely rests

If the tulip blossoms early
And a rose blooms vivid, fine
There's no need to take afoot
Stand firmly with the pine

You may not know the reason
There may not be a rhyme
But from seasons insight is gained
The earth changes, time to time