Male Empowerment

This is an old piece I thought I had lost. As a matter of fact, I had just remembered i wrote the damn thing a few days back.  Have been attempting to recall the piece from memory since then.  Anyway, I checked my email this evening and find a notification from an old poetry forum I used to visit.  Someone had dug up the poem to comment on it.  Completely forgot I left it there.  Funny how that stuff works.  non-serious piece.  For giggles.

Jiggly parts, cold beer
Makes me shed
A manly tear

Hairy chest, shoulder locks
When I'm angry
I throw rocks

I am man, watch me loaf
Or if you're female
Enjoy my gropes

Granite chin, fists of steel
With a punch so hard
Your mom will feel

Cause I am man, watch me loaf
And despite its size
I always boast

I am man, watch me eat
And shed crumbs over
Your pleather seats

I am man, I don't care
I've dried my face
With underwear

We are men, being men rocks
And not one of us haven't
Jerked into a sock

Lord Bless My Haters

No one has it easy.  Before you judge someone else, consider what they may have dealt with in their past and may still deal with today.  Most importantly, pray for the haters.  They know not what they do.

Lord bless my haters
They know not what they do
Not a single one would last
A day in my shoes

Lord bless my haters
As they assume and persecute
Cause in the end they're jealous
They can't do like I do

They can talk, they can stare
They can peek through the aisles
My swag and my flare
They wish they had my style

When they walk the road I've walked
They can talk the way I talk
But I've yet to find a reason
That justifies their gawks

Lord bless my haters
As I look them in the eye
I've shown them more mercy
Than they have realized

The Brewer?

Bored with nothing to do, entertaining the friends.  An alteration of an old rhyme.  I did it for the giggles, don't judge.

Gulp, glug, glug
Three dudes in a tub
Who the fuck these guys be?

The brewer, the baker
The candlestick maker
Kings among men, studly lunks all three

Craig, Jason, Zach
To be more specific
All masters of their trade

A three man brigade
Many dragons they've slain
In their countless drunken crusades